Random Facts and Mysteries of Substance

Here are ten random facts and mysteries from my journal, or as the Pilgrims like to call it, "book to write inside of when not sober."

1. I would like to see 2 teams of homeless people play flag football against each other using 2 dollar bills as the flags.
2. I feel that the other planets in our solar system are under-represented in the Miss Universe pageant. Why doesn't Mars host it for once?
3. Broccoli is environmentally-conscious cauliflower.
4. If you're going to paint a portrait of your life, paint it in whiteout so you can do it all over again.
5. I only wear my board shorts when I'm on the boardwalk, my trunks when I climb a tree, my bathing suit when I'm in the tub, and my speedos when I'm in a rush.
6. Never put a 2 and an 8 together...they're wild and crazy.
7. Our arteries communicate with each other using bloodcell phones.
8. The man who invented the walkie talkie was sued by a 2 year old. The toddler claimed the inventor stole his his entire vocabulary to name his invention.
9. A frog's favorite day is February 29th.
10. How would you be able to tell if a hyena thought you were funny?
    

Much Love,
John